What you don’t want will lead you to what you really want

The driving scenario

Sometimes when I drive on the highway and see a car accident, I hold on to the steering wheel tightly and think to myself “Oh man, that looks bad! I hope everyone is okay.”
But I also think:
“I don’t want that to happen to me.”

Why? Because an accident means:
Pain (injuries, trauma)
Loss (money, time, peace of mind)
Stress (repairs, insurance, missed work)

So I ask myself:

➜ “What do I want instead?”
I want peace. I want to drive safely. I want to protect my family, myself, and other people on the road.

To do that, I must:

• Pay attention

• Drive with care

• Avoid distractions (no phone, no loud music)

• Follow the rules

Plus, I just  want to enjoy the drive.

If I do these things, then there is a pretty good chance that God willing,إن شاء الله, I will not have an accident.

The same is true about anything in life.
One big motivator to push you to achieve the goals you desire is the opposite:
the pain you will experience if you don’t.

Visualize the opposite of your ideal life and ask yourself “Is that really how I want my life to be?”

People are more motivated to avoid losses than to chase gains.

Your brain is wired to avoid pain

Our default tendency is that we want to avoid pain, but the brain does not know the difference between the present and the future pain. It wants to protect you from the immediate pain.

So you need to make your brain accept the pain now to avoid the pain you may experience in the future as a result of failure to achieve what you want.

Use the steps below to help you trick your brain to go after the life you desire.

Step 1: Identify your pains: your “don’t wants”.

Use the rule of elimination
The don’t wants:

To get what you want, first highlight what you don’t want
🔹 What you don’t want helps define what you do want.
🔹 Once you know what you want,
you can build a system to get it.

Most people struggle because they don’t know what they truly want.
But they DO know what they DON’T want.

In our case, achieving our life goals are directly linked to achieving English Mastery first. So here are some examples you might relate to:

➜ I don’t want to feel nervous every time I speak English.
➜ I don’t want to miss better job opportunities because of my poor English skills.
➜ I don’t want to keep living a life full of stress and disappointment because of lack of English.
➜ I don’t my English struggles to hold me back.
➜ I don’t to stay stuck in my life while watching other people rise and level up.

Do you relate to these examples above? If not,

📝Take a moment right now to make a list of your “don’t wants”.

If you don’t want these above...
What do you want instead?

The wants:

The don’t want list will help you understand what you may want.

Here is a list of things to envision to have a good life:

• I want financial freedom.

• I want a peaceful life.

• I want to travel the world.

• I want to work in a job I love.

• I want to help others with my skills, talents, and experience.

• I want to simply enjoy life.

• I want to be active and healthy.

• I want to be in a happy marriage with someone I love.

• I want to have friends who lift me up and inspire me to grow.

• I want to speak English with confidence.

• I want take care of my own business without others’ help with English.

If what you want is in this list, good. If not, add it to the list.

📝 Make your “wants” list.

Step 2: Remove what holds you back (life audit)

You can’t grow if you are surrounded by negativity.

I cannot count how many times
I have had to do an audit of my relationships, my social circle and the choices I make in order to grow and get what I want.

Here’s the rule: surround yourself with people who bring you value and lift you up as well as people whom you can serve, bring value to and lift up.

The rest = just noise

Ask yourself this question:
💬 “Is this helping me grow or slowing me down?”

Step 3: Flip your “don’t wants” into “wants”

Now, take your “don’t want” list and reverse it.

🔹 By visualizing the negative outcome, you strengthen your desire for the positive.

Let’s say your goal is to have a carwash business and for this,
you’ll need strong English for:

✔ Talking to customers
✔ Negotiating with suppliers
✔ Understanding contracts
✔ Leading a team

For this, you need a system — a step-by-step plan →

The result

I love this quote:
“What comes easy won’t last; what lasts one won’t come easy”.

Quick fixes and easy gains never last.
They may work short-term, but they won’t sustain long-term.
Build a system of:
➜ consistent progress towards your goals
➜ daily routines
➜ good habits
➜ beliefs
➜ a set of actions that encourages growth and pushes you towards the results you desire.

Start with your environment. Build it in a way that supports the system.

• Clean up the clutter

• Read good books

• Take some courses (English courses or others related to your career)
  If you are looking for English classes, fill out this form here.

• Exercise and move your body

• Eat healthy

• Pray and do mental exercises

• Build your confidence and resilience to handle failure and setbacks

These may sound irrelevant, but they will give you the clarity you need to start focusing on your priorities.

Your phone and/or laptop has all the tools you need:

➜ YouTube
➜ Podcasts
➜ Books
➜ Online classes
➜ Teachers and mentors

You just need to look. And start. If you need a mentor or coach, you can reach out to me.

Step 4: Start working on the how.

Start building your system in silence.
Once ready, slowly start takings steps towards your destination.
Follow the plan, using the system you have built.

These are some other tips you need:

• Seek help. Don’t be ashamed of asking for help (online and in person).
  Shoot me a message on Instagram @TheEnglishZone_

• Take a course to help you improve your English and build confidence.

• Learn about your carwash business and write down what you need.

• Start taking action. A little bit every day.

• Lock in and work on the plan.

Step 5: Enjoy the small wins to get to your “wants”

📅 Here are your daily wins for success:

🧠 Learn 5 new words
🗣️ Practice for 15 minutes
📖 Read one page from a book that inspires you
📅 Plan your week
👥 Talk to someone in English
🎧 Listen to English podcasts [subscribe to The English Zone podcast here]

_{“Success doesn’t happen overnight. But with the right plan, anything is possible.”}

If you made it to the end of this newsletter, you’ve already taken the first step by reading this and I’m so proud of you.

📩 Your Next Step:
If you can’t do it alone, join a class that gives you structure, feedback, and support.

🔹 Write your “Don’t Want” list.
🔹 Flip it into “Wants.”
🔹 Send it to me—I’ll help you make a plan!
🚀 Ready to speak English with confidence?
👉 Join my class and let’s build that system—together.

Thank you for reading,

౽iyad